Congressional Republicans and Democrats come have come together to unanimously pass a bill that President Trump is expected up sign in to law based on a new research study led by renowned Professor Knot Happenin from UCBS that making active shooters illegal while doing nothing else will prevent and even stop these attacks in their tracks. “We were trying so hard to do something when we realized, if we simply make it a law that active shooter are illegal and nothing else should be done, then these types of incidents will stop happening,” said Congressman Les Smarts. Senator Givus Abreak applauded the efforts saying, “We made taxes by law and people pay us, so we expect this will work out swimmingly.”
The new law once enacted is expected to reduce active shooter incidents by 100% and usher in a new time of eutopia for the United States.
If you hadn’t gotten it yet, April Fools! Seriously folks, the solution to prevention and proactive response to active shooter incidents is multi-faceted. Combining a thorough security assessment, build out of physical countermeasures, development of improved security plans and procedures, implementation of quality training of suspicious activities/reporting and active shooter incident response, and lastly, practicing and drilling these concepts.
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